Synopsis:

The 'Entirely Respectable Editions' seek to remove all material that is silly, overplayed, misjudged, overly comical, ridiculous and generally inconsistent with the more serious tone established in the earlier 'Lord of the Rings' Trilogy. It is not a radical restructure, or a two-film cut and does not set out to streamline narrative, quicken pacing, or remove characters and plot-threads. The more time we spend in Middle Earth the better, I just want Middle Earth to be a more sensible place while we're there.

Intentions:

I was kind of glad Guillermo del Toro didn't get to Direct because as much as I love his movies, he was never going to make films that were tonally and stylistically consistent with the LoTR series... unfortunately neither did Peter Jackson. The serious, grand and relatively realistic tone of LoTR, was mixed with a new more childish, silly, comic and overblown style. Thankfully there is enough good material that a Fanedit should be able to fix everything.

Change List:

- INTRO & BREE: 00.00.00 - TM2YC and FE.org titlecards added. 00.00.27 - Replaced tacky 3D studio titlecards with less elaborate ones from the LotR era (from LotR, OHMSS and THX 1138 blu-rays). 00.01.06 - Tinted the titles blue to match the look of the LotR titles. 00.01.20 - Used Hobbit title from AUJ for consistency. 00.01.38 - Reframed opening shot of Bree to remove unnecessary onscreen title "Bree - on the borders of the Shire". 00.01.43 - Removed 6-second Peter Jackson cameo. Sorry Peter but looking down the lens is too distracting. 00.05.23 - Removed Gandalf needlessly explaining what the Dwarf rings are to Thorin and recut Thorin's reaction. 00.07.05 - Removed 7-seconds of Gandalf over explaining Erebor to Thorin. BEORN: 00.07.40 - Regraded opening scene to remove strange pink tint and make it more of an early hours blue/grey. 00.09.09 - Removed overly comedic double-take from Bilbo. 00.10.07 - Removed 2-seconds of silliness involving Bombur's beard being pulled and reframed one shot. 00.10.20 - Removed 2-seconds of silliness involving Bombur running super fast. 00.10.27 - Removed 5-seconds of silliness involving Bombur running into a door and falling over. 00.11.30 - Removed 4-seconds of Ori and Dori being irritating as usual. 00.12.08 - Removed pointless and generic "Attack them Now!" comment/subtitle by an Orc. Reframed shot and remade subtitle. 00.12.35 - Removed 3-seconds of Warg snarling at Azog. 00.12.36 - Reframed shot of Bolg and remade subtitle. 00.12.40 - Replaced "The Master has summoned you!" subtitle with the more descriptive and accurate "The Master has called us back father.". It's odd to me that Bold and Azog's relationship is not established. 00.13.38 - Removed 2-minute scene of Azog bizarrely being already at Dol Goldur, less than 60-seconds after being at Beorn's house (Moved to a point later in the film). Added new soundfx. 00.14.34 - Removed a couple of lines of Gandalf mentioning they are being hunted, which we know they are not since Azog has just left for Dol Goldur. 00.15.13 - Removed 7-seconds of silly dialogue between Gandalf and Bombur about him counting "...as two". 00.17.05 - Removed 7-seconds silliness involving the Dwarves meeting Beorn. 00.17.49 - Removed another 6-seconds silliness involving the Dwarves meeting Beorn. 00.17.59 - Removed another 4-seconds silliness involving the Dwarves meeting Beorn. 00.19.58 - Removed 18-seconds of Beorn telling the Dwarves there are Orcs about, despite Azog having left the area. 00.20.42 - Removed 10-seconds of Beorn telling Gandalf there are Orcs about, despite Azog having left the area. 00.22.41 - Removed 13-seconds of Beorn saying there are Orcs about and Warg howls being heard, despite Azog having left the area. Rescored new transition in Azog at Dol Goldur scene, which was moved from earlier in the film. 00.24.18 - Replaced "I have a task for you." subtitle with "I have a task for you son." to further establish Azog and Bolg's relationship. Reframed shot of Bolg. MIRKWOOD & THE WOODLAND REALM: 00.24.28 - Regraded the two establishing shots going into Mirkwood because they didn't even remotely match. 00.24.56 - Removed Dwalin mentioning the Orcs, despite Azog having left the area. Remixed sound. 00.25.51 - Removed re-used shot of Galadriel from AUJ, I think it's obvious to anybody paying attention to these films who the voice is that Gandalf hears while looking at her statue. 00.29.39 - Removed Bifur suggesting they swim the enchanted river, even he isn't that dumb. 00.30.07 - Removed 3-seconds of Bilbo overdoing a double-take. 00.32.06 - Removed 4-seconds of Thorin sounding like an ass after he shoots at the stag. 00.34.04 - Removed the 2nd time Bilbo flicks the spider's web. 00.35.42 - Blended in reversed footage of Dwarves to make the visuals look as confused as they sound, just before Bilbo climbs up to the canopy. 00.37.54 - Removed Bilbo doing an OTT pratfall off the tree branch. 00.38.20 - Removed the aggressive minty green tint that was applied to the Spider sequence for god knows what reason. 00.40.39 - Again removed the green tint in this second scene after Bilbo uses the ring. 00.41.49 - Removed 11-seconds of extreme silliness where a spider is on top of Bombur and the other Dwarves pull it's legs off. Remixed and rescored. 00.41.52 - Used 2-seconds of Bombur fighting the spider in-between shots of Bilbo searching for the ring. 00.42.34 - Removed one instance of Bilbo punching the crab creature, it looked silly to me. 00.44.58 - Trimmed reaction shot of Legolas to the "That's my wee lad... Gimli" line to remove the comedic eyebrow being raised. Slowed down first part of Legolas shot and placed it over Gloin's line, so the moment feels more underplayed. It's a lovely moment for the audience to enjoy but it should look meaningless to the two characters. 00.45.19 - Replaced "This is an ancient Elvish blade." subtitle with "This is an ancient relic of Gondolin." and reframed shot of Legolas. You could obviously hear him say "Gondolin", so I don't know why the subtitles didn't say the same. 00.47.02 - Removed the cringe inducing 8-seconds where Kili and Tauriel exchange double-entendres like "I could have anything down my trousers". Now they just swap a couple of lingering glances. 00.50.59 - Removed Thorin nonsensically saying "Not our only hope" in reference to seeing Bilbo who is invisible. BARREL RIDERS & THE HIGH FELLS: 01.02.44 - Removed obviously low-res GoPro shots. 01.02.49 - Removed obviously low-res GoPro shots. 01.02.59 - Removed obviously low-res GoPro shots. 01.03.18 - Inserted one shot of Bilbo riding a barrel from the otherwise awful Bombur sequence and used it to replace a generic wide shot. 01.03.18 - Inserted one shot of Bilbo riding a barrel from the otherwise awful Bombur sequence and used it cover over its removal. 01.03.37 - Removed the entire very silly minute-long sequence where the Dwarves are somehow fighting the Orcs from within their barrels, including the offensively ludicrous Bombur spinning attack. 01.06.37 - Removed 10-seconds of birds landing in Radgast's hat. Extensively replaced music, soundfx and remixed dialogue. LAKETOWN: 01.19.45 - Removed 6-seconds of mild silliness involving Alfrid grabbing a fish to reveal Bombur's eye. Remixed soundfx and music. 01.22.47 - Removed the whole 1.5 minute Extended "Boll*cks" scene between The Master and Alfrid. It had some really nice moments but got far too silly. Cut in a similar but slightly extended way to the Theatrical Cut. Remixed soundfx and music. 01.23.05 - Removed 2-second shot of Bifur doing an overly silly reaction when emerging from his barrel. 01.23.56 - Removed attack on guard that involves a wilhelm scream, got I've started to hate them. 01.29.28 - Removed overplayed "It's a joke" line from Bofur. 01.30.36 - Regraded the deer blood to be darker and more saturated. 01.33.49 - Trimmed shot of Nori because he was too obviously on wires. 01.41.23 - Removed 10-second of a drunk Bofur running to catch, him waking up under the table is enough to get it across with anymore silliness. 01.42.25 - Removed 5-seconds of Alfrid sounding unnecessarily vindictive towards Oin. 01.42.29 - Removed another 2-seconds of Alfrid being mean to Oin. EREBOR: 01.42.57 - Rescored Thorin and Co approaching Erebor with the epic Misty Mountains theme ('Over Hill' from the AUJ soundtrack), which was sadly absent from DoS. Replaced almost all soundfx. 01.44.44 - Removed 2-minute scene of Gandalf entering Dol Goldur. It will play at the start of my version of BotFA. Remixed soundfx and music. 01.45.16 - Removed 6-minute sequence where Gandalf finds Thrain. It will play at the start of my version of BotFA. 01.45.46 - Removed a reaction shot from Thorin to use later and rescored the moment. 01.47.54 - Totally recut the hidden door scene so Thorin and Co don't petulantly walk of and drop the key. Bilbo and Thorin both realise the meaning of the riddle together. Extensively replaced music, soundfx and remixed dialogue. Regraded the shots to make them match the fading light during the new order they play in. 01.49.04 - Removed a reaction shot of the Dwarves to use later and rescored the moment. 01.49.21 - Removed 30-seconds of Thorin saying odd things like "I know these walls" when entering the secret passage he has never seen before. 01.52.45 - Removed 3.5-minute sequence where Gandalf battles Azog and the Necromancer. It will play at the start of my version of BotFA. Remixed soundfx. BILBO & SMAUG: 01.54.42 - Removed three consecutive wide shots showing all the gold, yeah we get it, there is lots of it. Remixed soundfx. 01.56.49 - Regraded ring-vision sequence which was oddly super saturated, when it's normally shown as being very under saturated. 02.01.29 - Moved the Dwarves and Bard etc reacting to the noise from Smaug to much later, brought forward 30-second scene of Smaug ranting about Thorin and removed 30-second scene of Smaug vaguely rambling on about him being big and scary. Remixed audio. 02.01.55 - Removed 7-seconds of Smaug alluding to Sauron and brought forward the scene where Smaug finally loses patience and attacks Bilbo. 02.03.51 - Horizontally flipped shot of Smaug's fireball to differentiate it from the later shots. 02.03.53 - Placed the scenes where everyone reacts to Smaug making noise to just after his first attempt to burn Bilbo. 02.04.50 - Joined together Bard revealing the Black Arrow and him sneaking through the streets with it to make one scene. Remixed soundfx and music. 02.06.28 - Removed 1-minute scene of Thorin arguing with Balin. I didn't think he should enter the mountain and him being too afraid to and not caring about Bilbo happily goes too. Instead we cut back to Bilbo still being chased by Smaug's fire. 02.06.36 - Regraded short ring-vision sequence again. 02.06.47 - Cut from Smaug's second big fireball, to Bard waking up. BACK IN LAKETOWN: 02.07.20 - Removed close up of pig oinking comedically, it interrupts the visual connection between Bofur's activities and Bolg stalking him. 02.07.40 - Removed interior shot of Oin hearing Orcs on the roof, so it is more of a surprise when one leaps off the roof and attacks Sigrid. 02.08.07 - Removed 7-seconds of Bain successfully fighting off the Orcs, he's just a kid and it kinda undermines the rescue by Legolas and Tauriel. 02.08.11 - Removed 2seconds of Bofur falling over awkwardly. 02.10.19 - Removed 3-seconds of Bofur asking Tauriel what she's doing with the Kingsfoil. 02.10.19 - Removed 1.5-minutes of the Dwarves entering Erebor to rescue Bilbo. Plus removed 30-seconds of Tauriel preparing to treat Kili, now we cut to her already doing it. 02.10.20 - Reordered 3 shots of Tauriel treating Kili. 02.11.06 - Removed 1.5-minutes of the Dwarves being chased around by Smaug. Brought together the two scenes of Tauriel treating Kili in one and rescored and remixed the sound. 02.11.26 - Removed 10-seconds of Tauriel telling Kili to lie still. 02.11.30 - Swapped over Tauriel reaction to one where she is looking into Kili's eyes. 02.12.16 - Removed 2.5-minute sequence where the Dwarves light the forge. Remixed and rescored new transition into Bolg. 02.13.31 - Removed 4-seconds of Bolg throwing Legolas down Legolas, picking him up and then throwing him again. He just does it once now and I think it's a bit more fast and brutal. 02.13.39 - Removed 5-seconds of Legolas repeatedly smashing Bolg's face against a pillar. It didn't seem like a very Elf-style move and him doing it just once again feels faster and more brutal to me. 02.14.30 - Removed ludicrously silly 7-minute forge battle sequence, removed terrible 3-second shot of Legolas pretending to ride an obviously fake horse. Rescored new transition into Bilbo running from Smaug, also removed the first close-up of Bilbo before the big establishing shot. SMAUG & BARD FINALE: 02.15.46 - Removed very silly 2.5-minute golden statue sequence. Inserted flipped Bilbo reaction shot, watching Smaug storm off. Mixed in Smaug shouting "Revenge" to his other dialogue as he busts out of Erebor. 02.15.47 - Regraded shot of Smaug flying away to make his skin red and not gold. It's not perfect but it is what it is. I've seen other edits just not show a very important thing like Smaug leaving but that seems like a worse solution in my opinion. 02.16.15 - Removed 7-seconds of Tauriel reacting and Bilbo having instantly teleported half a mile outside Erebor. 02.16.38 - Added 10.5-minute BotFA opening sequence of Bard fighting Smaug in Laketown to form a new ending. 02.17.06 - Removed 4-seconds of lame humour like "I'm trying to evacuate myself here". Added new soundfx. 02.18.57 - Removed 8-seconds of the Master sounding genuinely concerned for his people and Alfrid being the more callous one, like they've swapped characters. 02.19.00 - Removed odd sound as we cut to Bard. 02.23.02 - Removed a shot of the Dwarves trying to stop Bain. 02.23.08 - Removed 3-seconds of Tauriel saying they can't go back for Bain... when they could. Added new soundfx. 02.24.13 - Removed 4-seconds of silliness involving the Master and Bain. Added new soundfx. 02.24.47 - Removed 3-seconds of the Master screaming at his men. Added new soundfx. 02.26.21 - Brought forward 10-seconds of the scene of the Dwarves and Bilbo observing Smaug's demise (the rest is deleted) to when Smaug gets hit by the arrow and crash lands, instead when he finally drops out of the sky. Added new soundfx. 02.27.02 - Removed 2 shots of the Master being crushed by Smaug. He simply escapes with the money (after the final indignity of being choked by Bard), which is what we are told happened to him at the start of BotFA anyway (and in the book). 02.27.03 - Blended the beginning of the DoS credits into the sound of Smaug falling. 02.37.30 - Used Warner logo from AUJ for consistency. 02.37.39 - Added fanedit credits with music. Original Runtime: 3-hours, 7-minutes Fanedit Runtime: 2-hours, 38-minutes Time Added: 11-minutes Time Removed: 40-minutes

Additional Notes:

- No silliness allowed... fun yes, humour yes, silliness no. - Lightly regraded the whole movie to make it more saturated in line with AUJ and to decrease the general blue/green tint. - Re-arranged some of Azog and Bolg's scenes to avoid them hopping all over Middle-Earth. - Removed any silly acrobatics involving the Dwarves (e.g. Bombur's twirling barrel attack) but Legolas and Tauriel's acrobatics are retained since they are Elves with "superhuman" abilities (as established in the previous 4-films). - Thorin is not shown arguing with Bilbo, or voicing the opinion that he doesn't care if Bilbo dies. One arc of the AUJ was supposed to be about Thorin coming to respect and like Bilbo, so it's good to have at least one whole movie when they are conceivably friends and comrades, before their relationship falls apart again in BotFA. It's also just nice to have Thorin not be a d*ck and act more like a hero for a couple of hours. - Gandalf does not appear in the second half of this edit after deciding to turn away from his friends at the high fells. His scenes at Dol Goldur are moved to the start of BotFA. - The scenes within Mirkwood are now uninterrupted, to subtly add to the claustrophobia. - The scene with the spiders has had the aggressive green tint removed. - Thorin and Co don't now petulantly walk off when they can't find the secret door. - The Dwarves do not enter the mountain in this version of DoS, that will happen in BotFA. - Bilbo's encounter with Smaug is now unbroken from when he enters the treasure chamber to when Smaug attacks him. - Removed the entire extremely silly and OTT forge battle sequence between the Dwarves and Smaug. - Bard's confrontation with Smaug from BotFA now forms the end of DoS. - What has not been removed: Legolas because he's great and it makes perfect sense for him to be in a story featuring his father. Tauriel (and her romance with Kili) because she's great too, her presence allows the Elf hierarchy to be explored and wow that 'Starlight' love theme is beautiful. The Master and Alfrid because they are good hissable antagonists for Bard but their sillier moments have been cut.

Other Sources:

- The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Extended Edition Blu-Ray) - The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Special Edition Soundtrack) - The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (Extended Edition Blu-Ray) - The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition Blu-Ray) - On Her Majesty's Secret Service (Blu-Ray) - THX 1138: Special Edition (Blu-Ray) - freesound.org (Various SoundFX),

Special Thanks:

Thanks to the people who gave feedback in the project thread including: revstevens, jrWHAG42, moviefan95, Masirimso17, DigModiFicaTion, douchebag, addiesin, Gaith, Nic, hbenthow, asterixsmeagol, Belgarath and ChainsawAsh.