Synopsis:

Barbie and Ken are having the time of their lives in the colorful and seemingly perfect world of Barbie Land. However, when they get a chance to go to the real world, they soon discover the joys and perils of living among humans.

Intentions:

I've been asked to edit a PG version of The Barbie Movie which removes all the misandry, patriarchy and "women having to manipulate men to win" nonsense. I've also removed all crude jokes about "Beaching off", genitalia, sexual innuendo, pregnancy, and flat feet being disgusting and mention of mastectomy, in order to create a movie that's based on self development, compromise within relationships, maturity, self awareness and toxic positivity. Which seemed to be overshadowed or missing from the original. I've also created a new ending where Barbie and Ken try to make a long distance relationship work because they're actually in love in this version.

Change List:

• Add new pink MRDb intro animation • Add MRDb PG rating card intro • Add Movies Remastered Barbie text intro animation • Add “A Movies Remastered Presentation” to opening credits • Retime audio to blend cut above • Remove Helen Myron intro VO (This sounds bitter and passive aggressive) • Add “Miss Andry Cut” to opening logo • Retime audio to blend edit above • Remove the VO of “Feminism and equal rights being solved” (They’re not solved. Barbies have domain over the Kens. Which seems like a weird opening for a kid’s movie) • Remove extra dialogue of heavier Barbie saying she has no problem holding logic and feeling at the same time and not diminishing her powers? WTF (This is a joke for men, right?) • Remove VO of Ken only having a good day if Barbie looks at him. (We’re 8 minutes in and it’s already sounding weird). • Fix audio/score to blend cuts above. • Add New bright Colourgrade LUT to every Barbieland scene to make it more exciting, vibrant, and childlike. • Remove entire “Beach off” scene. WTF? Who’s finding this entertaining? • Remove score from outro Hospital scene • Remove score from dance scene • Rescore dance scene with “Aqua – Barbie Girl” • Retime dance scene to try and match BMP of Aqua track. (This wasn’t easy or perfect but it’ll work for this one. They’re dolls who can’t dance. • Add party crowd sounds to dance scene • Add clip sounds when dance routine needs it. • Add DJ decks slowing down sound fx when the song stops • Add DJ decks starting up sound fx • Have Aqua song fade out to the words “Oh, I love you Ken” • Add 3D heart fx when Ken kisses Barbie. (To have Ken awkwardly not kiss Barbie here was a disservice to their history. • Add kissing and cartoony smooching sounds fx as they kiss. • Add tiny pink hearts to the new kiss scene to show our couple is in love. • Have those hearts pop when Barbie says “It’s girls’ night” • Add popping sound fx • Remove dialogue of Barbie falling, being embarrassed • Remove fake puking because barbie has “Flat feel” reaction (Why is this movie trying to give kids body complex?) • Remove the hard cut to Spice Girls flashback. (This was too soon and the idea needed flashing out more first) • Instead have Barbie as “Why is she always in the slips” and then hard cut to Spice Girls to give the answer). • Add “Auditorium” sound effect to the end of the Spice Girls song to give it a nice transition and predominant outro. • Remove Weird Barbie talking about Kens “Nude Blob” (Sexual innuendo isn’t suited in this PG cut plus, this seems to tell kids it’s fine to be disrespectful about someone’s partner to their face and make them feel uncomfortable for a “joke”?) • Remove any mention of cellulite. (Nothing wrong with cellulite. Why give women a complex about their bodies, again?) • Remove the delusion of “All women in the real world being happy and powerful”. • Remove Weird Barbie calling Barbie a “Bummer”. (This has a totally different meaning in the UK and it’s just not nice to call people names). • Remove any mention of cellulite. • Remove barbie freaking out. • Fix audio to blend cuts above. • Remove another mention of cellulite. • Remove Asian Ken teasing Blonde Ken about Barbie. (Pointless scene). • Remove delusion of women being “powerful”. (This continued delusion makes the Barbies look stupid, and this constant mention of “power” just feels so odd. This edits about equality not power). • Revert to slightly washed out colourgrade when Barbie and Ken enter the real world. This is to show things aren’t the same from the start. • Remove real world people pointing and laughing. This doesn’t happen. It’s a false narrative for bad writing. • Remove Yob shouting “Give us a smile, Blondie”. Yes, while there are douche cones that do this. It’s very unlikely that these little dorks would have the balls to say that to someone who’s with anyone as jacked as Ken. Another false reality. • Remove the “Undertone of violence”. (This a broad day light, near a popular beach and 100s of people around. Again, very unlikely reality. • Remove stereotyping of men on a construction site. (I thought “modern society” didn’t like stereotyping people, or is that just the people you like?) • Remove mention of double notanda and Barbie not having a Vagina or Ken having a Penis. (This movie is so weird). • Remove the supreme court being a miss universe contest in the real world. (I thought this was funny but it didn’t fit the new timing of the scene. • Remove Barbie being sexually assaulted in broad daylight. WTF film? • Remove barbies act of violence • Remove Barbie and Ken getting arrested • Remove Barbie and Ken stealing clothes • Remove creepy Police scene • Remove the line “Don’t crap the ben Aron” • Remove the awkward “All the way up” office clerks’ scene. (So many unfunny, unhinged scenes in this movie). • Remove Barbie feeling anxiety. • Remove Mum passive aggressive “joke” about kids not taking things out on their dads. • Remove he/she stopping barbie to talk to Sasha. (Pointless scene). • Remove he/she saying “You never listen”. • Remove Ken talking about Patriarchy. • Remove another mention of Patriarchy from Ken. • Remove office guy talking about hiding the patriarchy better. (Massive eye roll). • Remove Barbie moaning about being called a fascist by a child. • Remove yet another mention of patriarchy from Ken • Remove Sasha stumbling her words and calling Barbie a “reality challenged woman”. (More bad writing. Sasha is either PC or she isn’t. Make up your mind?) • Fix audio to blend cuts above. • Remove Barbie mention cellulite and weird Barbie. • Fix audio so Big Boss cuts Barbie off mid-sentence. • Remove clerk saying he’s a man with no power. (Why is this movie obsessed with “power”? Get over yourselves). • Remove Big Boss stumbling to find where women work in the industry. • Remove Big Boss mentioning about working in a phallic shaped building. • Remove about “gender neutral bathrooms”. • Remove last ditch at “Everyone one of these men love women”. (This is just so odd). • Remove what must be a barrage of ad lids and unfunny “jokes” regarding knowing women. (Please make this stop). • Remove Big Boss shouting “Get in the box you Jessabelle” • Fix a lot of audio gymnastics to blend above cuts. • Transition back into Barbieland LUT as we return to her world. • I wanted to remove barbie saying that Ken is superfluous but it was almost impossible and kind sets up the new ending I’ve created. • Cut back to unsaturated colour grade every time the scene goes back to real work. • Remove ken mentioning patriarchy. • Remove odd shot of Ken sleeping and then hard cut to him waving a flag. • Remove Sasha saying “Maybe you wished us?” • Remove all the violence with Alan fighting the construction team. • A lot of visual cuts to make above scene work • A lot of audio magic to make above scene fit. • Remove Weird barbie saying “It’s no use trying to deprogram her”. • Remove Weird barbie talking about brainwashing. • Remove the victim mentality from the Mun saying “It’s literally impossible to be a woman”. • Remove Mums victim mentality rant about being extraordinary. (Who’s making you think this way? You can be whatever and whoever you want in this world. It’s women putting these insecurities on each other, and mostly from the fashion and make-up industries to make you feel ugly. This isn’t men’s doing so, stop trying to claim it is patriarchy). • Remove barbie mention about “robbing the power of the patriarchy”. (Eye roll). • Remove all subplot involving lying and manipulating the Kens in order to regain power of them. (This is a pretty dark and disgusting trait and yet society allows it because women manipulating men to get what they want is normalised in modern society). • Remove entire montage of Barbie’s pretending to be dumb with the Kens in order to miniplate them. • Remove the Mum adding make-up to Barbie. • Remove scene of Barbie having doubts of Ken not liking her anymore. (She’s literally just lied her way back in and she expects his to still like her? This scene will be repurposed and given a more emotional meaning later. • Remove Barbie walking up to Kens house to see him. (This will also be reused for a more emotional ending later). • Remove night beach singing “I want to push you around” scene with the Ken’s. (This song doesn’t sit well with me in any context). • Remove all scenes of Barbie’s deliberately making the Ken’s jealous in order for them to fight each other. (Are you serious? WTF is this movie other than disgraceful). • Remove Ken’s talking about fighting and beach offs. • Remove President Barbie saying “MotherBLEEP” • Remove President Barbie talking about restoring all the Barbies autonomy • Remove Ken mentioning patriarchy AGAIN!!! • Remove Barbie saying “Oh!” when Ken mentions about them living together. (In this edit that is all Barbie has wanted because she loves him). • Remove Ken being knocked back for a kiss from Barbie. (Again, they’re in love in this edit so Barbie wouldn’t do that). • Remove Ken being rejected for another kiss from Barbie. • Remove Ken slapping himself. • Remove Big Boss fearing pregnant Barbie. • Remove Big Boss asking President Barbie to call him Mother. (WTF?) • Fix audio to blend above dialogue cuts. • Remove the Ken’s asking for a supreme court justice. (This is supposed to be a renewed level of equality but President Barbie is still holding out “power”). • Remove the refusal ending of Barbie being in love with Ken. (Why can’t she be in love and happy? It’s sending out such a strange message). • Remove Barbie saying “I’m not in love with Ken” (Oh, yes you are Missy. At least, you are in this edit). • Remove mention of double mastectomy. • Transition out from the beautiful montage of mothers and their children using fade to white • Add Auditorium sound effect to Billie EIlish -What was I made for track. • Insert Mum applying Make-up to Barbie scene from earlier. • Remove Mother mention Ken not liking Barbie in the same way. (Either Barbie wants to be with Ken or not. Make up your damn mind, movie!) • Remove Mum talking about brainwashing Barbies friends (This scene is now designed to show Barbie knows she has done wrong by not putting her love for him first and she’s scared of rejection, which all humans feel in relationships). • The line “It’s like I’m a woman already” Now has a new meaning as Barbie is about to become a real women and head out into the real work by herself. Showing personal growth and maturity. • Remove mention of Barbie and Ken talking about Kendomland. • ReEdit the scene of Barbie going to Ken’s house to show an awkward and unsure tone. The idea is to show Barbie’s insecurity and openness while also showing Ken is protecting his emotions after being hurt and being open to listen. • When Barbie now asks to be Ken’s “Long term distance low commitment casual girlfriend” it’s for real and not just an ask to manipulate him. This shows she’s willing to make anything work for the love she has for Ken. • I absolutely love when Ken shouts “Sublime”. Adding this scene his gives it more gravitas as it now shows Ken is willing to forgive Barbie for neglecting their relationship for the love, he has for her. • Now when Ken asks Barbie in and his hand on heart gesture gives the audience the happy ending, they wanted, and Barbie and Ken lived happily in a mature long-distance relationship. • Fade to white • Insert Barbie arriving to office in the real-world end scene. • Add English subtitles in Barbie font for the father speaking Spanish • Cut after Barbie giving her name to receptionist. This now leaves the ending more ambiguous and offers that point she’s going for a job interview instead of seeing a gynaecologist. • Add “Miss Andry Cut” to end logo. • Add pink MR logo to outro.